Confessions in the Moonlight
by Rhiamon Synclair
Summary: Marauderera fic, sixthyear after the Whomping Willow incident. SSRL
1. Chapter 1

Bound Together

A friendship, struggling to become more,  
Finally receives what it was yearning for.  
In the stillness of the night,  
Two puzzled minds see the light.  
As they talk, under the moon,  
A new relationship begins to bloom.  
Emotion thick within the air,  
They share kiss, right then and there.  
And, with this simple act,  
It is signed - a binding contract.  
Two hearts are joined as one,  
Joined beneath the setting sun.  
Two souls are joined together,  
Bound as one, now and forever.

_**Confessions in the Moonlight**_

Remus Lupin sat by the lake, watching the giant squid sunbathe, lost in his thoughts. Absentmindedly, he ran his fingers through his short, light brown hair and sighed softly. The sun was setting now, which meant that it was close to dinnertime. He'd been avoiding his friends all day, and really didn't want to see them now. Ever since James and Sirius had pulled that "prank" by telling Severus Snape to look under the Whomping Willow… he'd barely spoken to them. _What_ Severus must think of him. Remus and Severus had formed a friendship early in their Fifth Year at Hogwarts in an inter-house study group. Now, James and Sirius had ruined it for them. Severus would probably never want to speak to him again. Remus let out another sigh.

Footsteps behind him soon alerted him to the presence of another. He turned around to see …Severus.

"Why are you here, Severus?" Remus asked quietly, his expression pained.

"You've been avoiding me, Remus." Severus answered softly, his deep voice laced with concern. He walked closer to Remus and sat next to him. "I've wanted to talk to you about what happened, and you've been avoiding me. Why?"

"I should have thought that would be obvious, Severus." Remus answered him, diverting his gaze to his lap. "No one in their right mind would want to be friends with a…well, with someone like me." His voice betrayed his pain at the thought of losing a good friend.

Severus forced Remus to look him in the eye, his dark black eyes flashing with incredulity and sincerity and anger, no doubt at Remus' 'friends'. "Listen to me, Remus," he demanded firmly. "I do not care that you are a werewolf! You cannot help what you are! You've been my most loyal and true friend, more so than anyone else I've known! Black and Potter hate me. They hate that we are friends. They would do anything, and I do mean _anything_, to make me hate you. To ruin our friendship." He paused slightly before continuing in a more gentle tone. "But their plan failed. I don't hate you. Quite the opposite; I **_love_** you, Remus."

Remus, who had shifted his gaze back to his lap, looked up at Severus, stunned. Looking him straight in the eye, Severus continued, "**_I love you._** I'll understand if you do not feel the same, but I cannot imagine my life without you. I want you to be _mine,_ Remus."

Remus looked at Severus, his amber eyes filled with tears. Slowly, he nodded. To Severus' surprise, he whispered, "I love you, too, Severus."

Severus reached up a hand and cupped Remus' cheek. "Then you are mine. My Lycan." And he leaned forward and placed his lips gently against the other boy's.

There, in the moonlight, two lost souls found their mates, and two young men found their future.


	2. November 1, 1981

Severus Snape was heartbroken. And terrified. Two words that would never be associated with the twenty-one year old potions apprentice. Severus Snape was supposed to be calm, collected, and snarky at all times. However, as he frantically rushed after his lover, Remus Lupin, he was anything but. Remus Lupin was extremely sad, and also extremely angry. The night before, three of his best friends, Lily and James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, had all been murdered. Lily and James were lost to Lord Voldemort, and Remus' other best friend, Sirius Black, had murdered Peter. When Remus found out what had happened to his best friends, he rounded on Severus, the only person, in his mind, who could have known what was going to happen and stopped it. Severus was a spy in Voldemort's inner circle; he had to have known what the Dark Lord's plans were. Remus was convinced that Severus intentionally withheld information from Albus Dumbledore; information that could have saved his friends' lives. He believed that Severus had turned back to the Dark Lord.

Severus came to a stop at the doorway to his and Remus' bedroom, breathing heavily. "Remus, please," he pleaded as his husband threw clothes and random items into his trunk. "Please don't leave… let me…let me explain. I told Albus every…" He stopped as Remus wheeled around and fixed him with a heated glare.

"Don't you talk to me, _Snape!_ Don't you even! Wasn't it enough that you turned to the Dark Lord in the first place? Oh, I know what you say, '_I had no choice, Remus'_. There is _always_ a choice. And now… now I see what yours truly was." His voice was pure venom, pure hatred. "You had us all fooled, Albus included!" Remus turned his back on Severus's heartbroken form. The pain and rage were thick in his voice when he spoke again, "And now… now you have caused the deaths of the only true friends I ever had. I will be leaving, _Snape_, and I would advise you not to follow me or try to find me." He slammed his trunk shut, shrunk it, and immediately apparated away.

Severus, for his part, fell to the ground sobbing, where Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, found him several hours later. When questioned, Severus would only say that he had made the worst mistake of his life and lost the only thing that ever mattered to him in the process. After Albus left him, Severus too packed his things and left the house he and his husband had shared. No one knew where he had gone and none tried to find him. Years later, when he completed his apprenticeship, he returned to Hogwarts to apply for the Potions position. The wizard that approached Headmaster Dumbledore was completely unrecognizable. Severus Snape had always been a rather cold individual to those who did not know him well, but the Severus Snape that spoke to the Headmaster appeared to have closed away all of his emotions, shutting himself off from the world. Severus Snape, it appeared, had lost himself and as such, his will to live, to love.


	3. Remus Lupin Returns to Hogwarts

Severus Snape stalked through the halls with purpose, his black robes billowing menacingly. As he rounded a corner, he nearly ran over Professor Sprout, who dropped the seeds she had been carrying. "Excuse _me_, Pomona!" He clipped, and without a second thought, he continued on his way to the Headmaster's office, leaving the good professor to gather her seeds on her own. Upon reaching the stone gargoyle, he sneered as he gave the password, "Acid Pops." The Headmaster, who was, of course, already waiting patiently for his arrival, was sitting behind his desk contentedly sucking on a lemon drop.

"Ah, Severus. Thank you for coming. Sit down, dear boy, sit down." Albus smiled, his clear blue eyes twinkling as ever. "Could I offer you a lemon drop, Severus?" He gestured to his candy dish. "Or perhaps a spot of tea?"

"No, thank you, Headmaster." Severus replied as he took a seat across from the headmaster. "I've got several things to do to prepare for the start of term, Headmaster, so if you don't mind…"

"Of course, Severus. Although, I regret to say, I must add to them." The Headmaster paused, as if to be certain that Severus would not begin an angry tirade, but the young professor merely glared and motioned that he continue. "I have hired a Defense professor for the upcoming term."

"And how exactly does this affect _my_ duties, Headmaster?" Severus interrupted impatiently. He _still_ had not finished his lesson plans and there were a few other last minute preparations that still had to be made. He did not have time for the Headmaster's usual dallying.

"I was getting to that, dear boy. I have appointed Remus Lupin to the position. Owing to his … condition, shall we say, I willneeduse of your potions skills in brewing the Wolfsbane Potion for him every month."

"You…I… _WHAT! _How _could_ you hire _him_, Headmaster!" Severus exploded. "Of all the people, Headmaster! _Lupin?_ You know our history!"

The Headmaster eyed Severus over his half-moon glasses, and his voice was stern when he replied, "I do, Severus. However, I had no other choice. No one else replied to my advertisement for the position. And Severus, no mention to the students is to be made about Mr. Lupin's condition. I do hope that is clear." Severus nodded tersely. "Very well. Now. Will you brew the potion for him, or will I have to send off for it each month?"

Severus sighed wearily. "I will brew the potion, Headmaster." Of course he would brew the potion. Although he would love nothing more than to never have to see Remus Lupin again, he knew what the transformations were like for the man and would not wish him to suffer needlessly. Andconsideringthat he was one of the only potions masters with sufficient skills to brew the delicate Wolfsbane Potion… "Is that all, Headmaster?"

Albus Dumbledore nodded his head, "Yes, Severus, that is all. Thank you." With a last parting glance, Severus quickly left the Headmaster's office and headed back to his quarters. Extra preparations would have to be made if he were to brew the Wolfsbane Potion.

New Scene

Remus Lupin sat alone in the Leaky Cauldron, nursing a glass of Ogden's Best Fire-whiskey. He stared into the amber liquid, reflecting on his earlier meeting with the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore. He had replied to Dumbledore's advertisement for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, although he wasn't quite sure why. He needed the work, but he had been certain that the Headmaster had dozens of other appointments for the position lined up already. After all, the start of term was only four weeks away. However, when he arrived in the Headmaster's office, he was greeted warmly and immediately offered the position. Dumbledore had explained the great need for a Defense professor and Remus could not turn him down. However, as he sat in the Leaky Cauldron, he pondered his decision. _Severus_ would be at Hogwarts.

Remus Lupin had not seen his husband Severus Snape in roughly ten years. He still remembered vividly the night he left, accusing Severus of betraying the Order of the Phoenix for Lord Voldemort. As the years went by, Remus became more certain that Severus had not, in fact, betrayed them, but for years Severus was unreachable. Nobody knew where he was. When he had rejoined the wizarding word, he was no longer the man Remus had known. He had closed into himself and locked away his emotions deep within his self. So deep, in fact, that it was not certain they could ever emerge. Not that Remus had known this. Headmaster Dumbledore had told him of the changes in Severus. Remus knew that he had lost his husband forever.

And now, for the first time in ten years, they would meet again. Working in close proximity for ten months, Remus knew they would eventually cross paths. Not to mention that Severus would have to brew the Wolfsbane Potion for him every month. No, it would be impossible for the two to never meet. Only Remus wasn't sure how he felt about facing Severus for the first time. He was nervous about seeing the other man again, that was certain. He mulled over his predicament as he sipped his fire-whiskey. Finishing the glass, he made a decision. He would go and talk to the man. Yes, that's what he would do. First thing tomorrow. With this new conviction in mind, Remus paid his tab and apparated to his dingy flat.


	4. Remus and Severus Meet Again

**_A/n: _**I'd just like to take a moment and thank the people who have reviewed so far. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get another chapter out, but I really only write when the inspiration hits, and this chapter was particularly difficult. Anyway, I'll try to do better. On with the story! (Oh.. and I've just realized that I've not put a disclaimer in, so… here you are! Don't sue!)

**_Disclaimer: _**If you recognize anything in this ficlet, it does not belong to me! In fact, the only thing that does belong to me is the flimsy plot. Everything else belongs to the lovely J.K. Rowling.

Remus Lupin awoke early and quickly showered. He dressed himself in his best robes and set out for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with purpose. Today was the day that he would see his husband Severus Snape for the first time in ten years. After the death of his best friends, Remus had left Severus, blaming him for what had happened. However, Remus had realized how wrong he had been. This year, he would be filling the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts and he knew he would have to speak to Severus before the start of term. He was extremely nervous about meeting his husband again, but he felt that the two of them needed to come to an understanding.

He arrived at Hogsmeade Village and from there walked to the gates of Hogwarts. He took his time, thinking over in his mind what he would say to Severus when he encountered him. Arriving at the entrance to the castle, he pushed open the massive oak doors and had to pause a moment to clear his mind of the many memories that arose. He had not been to Hogwarts in years, but of course the castle had not changed a bit. Shaking his head, his strode towards the dungeons with purpose, knowing that Severus kept quarters there. When he reached the door to Severus' office, he hesitated. _Are you sure about this, Remus? _He asked himself. _Of course I am._ He knocked twice on the door and was greeted with a rather sour "Enter!" _That is certainly Severus, _Remus thought, _but he sounds so different._ He pushed open the door to the Potion's Master's office and entered.

"Hello, Severus." Remus said softly, when the other man did not look up.

"You!" Severus spat when he realized who was standing before his desk. "What are _you_ doing here, Lupin?"

Remus could not help the wince at hearing the malice in his husband's tone, and yet, he could not fault the other man either. "I felt we needed to talk, Severus. Do you mind if I sit?" He asked, his hand already on the back of the straight-backed wooden chair.

"If I say yes, will it stop you?" Severus scowled. When Remus shook his head, he waved his arm in a dismissive manner. "Sit, then. By all means." His tone was no less acidic than it had been before. "What do you want, Lupin?" Although his tone betrayed none of it, Severus himself was very upset to see his husband. It hurt his very heart to sit here in front of the man and not reach out to him. But Severus had long before made his decision, as had Remus. There was no going back from it now.

"I'm sure Albus has informed you by now that I will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts this term." Remus began. "Severus, despite our past, we will have to work together. You know this. I'd like to try…"

"You'd like to try? _Now_ you'd like to try?" Severus snarled. "Had a change of heart have you?"

"Severus, please! Listen to me for half a moment!" Remus pleaded.

"You want me to listen now, do you? You did not want to hear anything I had to say then, Lupin, and I am not interested in listening to you now."

"I want to apologize, Severus. I should have listened to you. I was so grief-stricken… I had just my best friends, three dead, betrayed by the fourth. I didn't know what to think! I realized my mistake later, but you were already gone!" Remus hated the desperation in his voice, hated that he had to plead with his husband, hated himself for the things he had done and said in the past.

"You betrayed me, Remus. Your own husband! I had no – No. This conversation is _over_, Lupin. You will see me each month when it is time for your potion, otherwise, _stay away from me!_" Severus hissed vehemently, "Now get out of my office!" When the other man made no move to leave, he shouted, "OUT!"

Remus stood, his posture defeated, his eyes red and clouded with tears. "Very well, Severus." He said softly, "If that is what you wish…" Without another word, he left the office. Once in the hallway, he ran. He ran from the dungeons, out the front doors, and down the path to Hogsmeade. Safely past the apparition barriers, he apparated to his flat and threw himself onto his bed, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Back at Hogwarts, Severus Snape sat in his office. He hadn't moved since the other man had left. Though minutes before, his eyes had shown nothing but hate and malice, they now showed pain and sorrow. And if anyone had entered the office at that moment, they would have seen a shocking sight. Severus Snape buried his head in his arms and cried.


	5. After The Full Moon 3rd Year

**_Author's Note:_** This chapter was particularly difficult to write, and I do apologize that it took me so long. I think I may have mentioned that I only write when I get the inspiration for a chapter, so updates may be slow in coming. I hope to continue this short little series up until present time, although I am not sure at this point. I thank my reviewers for your support and encouragement and I hope you enjoy this chapter. The viewpoint changes several times, but it is not that difficult to follow (I hope!).

**_Disclaimer: _**If you recognize anything in this ficlet, it does not belong to me! In fact, the only thing that does belong to me is the flimsy plot. Everything else belongs to the lovely J.K. Rowling.

I cannot believe that this past week actually happened. While I'm not one to dwell on the same event constantly, I cannot help but replay this week's events in my mind. It all started, as most of my problems the past few years seem to, with one Harry Potter, for the most part at least. Potter was up to his usual antics, wandering around the school when he should be in his dormitory, although I wasn't aware of that at the time. I had just brewed a batch of the Wolfsbane Potion for my _husband_, although I hadn't acknowledged him as such in years, Remus Lupin. The Headmaster, _conniving old fool_ that he is, hired Lupin at the beginning of the year to teach Defense, and making it my place to brew the delicate potion once a month. Dear, dear, I'm rambling again….I had just brewed the damned potion and was taking it to Re—Lupin. When I received no answer to my knock on his office door, I let myself in, planning to just leave it on his desk. Imagine my surprise when, there on his desktop, was a _Marauder's Map_. I sneered, remembering my old nemeses, and was about to turn away before I realized that it was actually a map of Hogwarts. _Intriguing. _So, I read it. And I saw Potter. And Granger. All heading down some tunnel of sorts that was located, of all the places, under the Whomping Willow. And there was _Lupin_ following them. Well, not being one to resist docking Gryffindor points for being out past curfew, I left the potion sitting there and rushed out of the castle. Of course, I was familiar with the Whomping Willow (a certain incident which almost cost me my life…and which I won't discuss here for lack of time), so I used a branch to prod the knot to let me into the passageway. Arriving in the Shrieking Shack, where the passageway led, I was (not so) surprised to see the Golden Trio and Lupin. However, I _was _surprised to see one Sirius Black. Responding naturally, I immediately pulled my wand and threw (not so) empty threats at Black, sneering at Lupin about wouldn't _this_ be news to the (_old fool_) Headmaster, him helping an old (_murderer_) friend into the castle. And then…the damned Gryffindor brats Stunned me. One (three) hell(s) of a Stunner, at that! When I came to, we were out of the Shack and Lupin was in the middle of his werewolf transformation. Another person was there, as well. _Peter Pettigrew_. I threw myself in front of Weasley, Potter, and Granger, as Black transformed into a (_Grim!_) giant black dog and attacked the werewolf. Pettigrew was looking distinctly pleased and the next thing, he had transformed in a rat (_Wait, wait, wait… that bumbling dunderhead is an Animagus!_) and scurried off somewhere. Potter ran off, and Granger followed, leaving me with Weasley. Well, I managed (somehow) to get Weasley to hospital to be treated by Madam Pomfrey and rushed off for the Headmaster who, in turn, rushed off to find Black, Potter, and Granger. So, move forward a bit…a shouting match with Dumbledore and the (sanctimonious) Gryffindor trio later…Fudge appeared to have Black Kissed by the Dementors only to discover the mangy mutt had escaped. Potter and Granger, of course, with that damned little Time-Turner of hers (_I told Albus that no thirteen-year old Gryffindor witch could be trusted with such a responsibility!_). To make a long story short, that night was all in all terrible. The next morning, after no sleep, I cornered a weak Lupin in his quarters, demanding answers. My mind had been torn apart by the previous night's events and I wanted answers, damn it! Sitting there in Lupin's private quarters, I got more than I bargained for…

* * *

_Remus Lupin sighed, "Sit down, Severus." When Severus Snape just glared at him, Remus snapped, "Oh, for the love of Merlin, Severus! You barge into my quarters making demands, at least sit down so I can answer them!" _

_Severus Snape sat. "Give me your answer then, Lupin, and let me be on my way."_

_What followed was a long series of explanations twelve years waiting. Remus told Severus how heartbroken he was at the thought that his husband had betrayed him and how grief-stricken the loss of his best friends made him. He apologized profusely for his actions, knowing he deserved no forgiveness. He told how he had seen Peter Pettigrew's name on the Marauder's Map, a document that he, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Pettigrew himself had drafted during their years at Hogwarts and how he'd been appalled to realize that Pettigrew had betrayed them all. He realized that all the time he thought Black was the true traitor and blamed Severus for his lack of knowledge, he had been entirely wrong. If Pettigrew had been a Death Eater, he had obviously been a spy, something Severus could never have known. Remus told how, when he returned to Hogwarts, he had hoped that he and Severus could make amends, but did not know how. And Severus listened. And he realized that he never gave Remus a chance to explain himself, realized that he had never given himself a chance to let Remus fully in. And Severus made his own confessions, of his jealousy of the Marauders, of his grief at Remus' betrayal, and at the end of the discussion, both men were in tears. _

_"Remus, my darling Lycan, how could I have cast you so fully from my heart?" Severus could scarcely speak. "I don't know why you would want to forgive a man who tossed you aside so easily, so willingly…"_

_But Remus only shook his head and reached out for his husband. "I swore my life to you, Severus Snape, but I am not the one making any sacrifice here. It is you who must forgive me…forgive a young man for his ignorance and willingness to cast blame, and a mature man for not owning up to his actions when he realized how wrong he had been." Remus met Severus' eyes and, for a moment, was silent. "I never stopped loving you, Severus. When you disappeared into your apprenticeship and closed yourself away from the world, you were every day on my mind. At night, I wept for what I had lost and by day, I tortured myself with guilt for what I had done. I only hope that we can move past what has happened, although I realize …"_

_Severus silenced him with a word. "Remus. Stop. It will take time, much time, for us to regain what was lost, but we have already made strides this morning. I will gladly extend my hand to you with an open offer of trust and forgiveness. I state only one condition – there shall be no secrets, no lies, between the two of us, or there shall be no us. Although I hardened myself to the world, a part of me never forgot my darling Lycan, who stole so much of me I sometimes could not tell where he ended and I began."  
__  
__And Remus accepted Severus' offer, sealing the promise with a tender kiss._

* * *

My Raven is mine once more. I never thought that I would have him back one day, but I do. Severus came to my quarters yesterday and for several hours, time stopped. We both bared our souls. I confessed my sins to my husband and begged his forgiveness and he likewise did the same, although his mistakes are nothing to mine. We were both left in tears. I could scarcely breathe when Severus offered his hand to me once more. While I know that the ground we tread is precious right now and that anything could happen in the future, I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. To know that my husband, my Severus, is back in my life for the first time in twelve years is a feeling beyond elation. I know that I would do anything to keep from losing this darling soul that I call my husband. When we shared a kiss, a soft, slow, tender kiss, I felt my heart melt all over again.

* * *

Remus and I finally came to terms with the issues that separated us and, although our relationship now is tentative and fragile, I am once more filled with an overwhelming happiness. For the first time in twelve years, I feel true joy. I rejoice in the knowledge that my Lycan is mine once more, and that, although we stand on fragile ground, we are united together. When I confronted Remus earlier this week, I never imagined that it would end in this. We have shared late night walks by the lake twice, getting to know each other again. I cannot help but replay this week's events in my mind, for they cause me a joy unknown, a feeling beyond elation. When we shared that kiss, that sweet, soft kiss, the first in twelve years, I fell in love with him all over again. 


End file.
